Corrupt a Wish Game!

Stuff that just doesn't fit anywhere else. (As if our other threads don't run off topic already.)
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SectsDryve
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Postby SectsDryve » Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:07 am

Kiawah wrote:I wish that employers would be forced to give their employees a nap time by state law.


Granted. But the napping truck drivers cause lots of accidents.

--

I wish I had stylish clothes that fit well.
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Waits
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Postby Waits » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:06 am

SectsDryve wrote:I wish I had stylish clothes that fit well.


Granted...but they are out of style the next day...but you don;t think so, so you look like a moron wherever you go.


I wish I could get rid of this headache.

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Postby Vissum » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:49 am

Waits wrote:I wish I could get rid of this headache.


*CHOP!* Granted: no head, no ache.

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I wish...I wish I were a fish.
Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing. --Robert E. Howard

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Postby SectsDryve » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:12 pm

Vissum wrote:I wish...I wish I were a fish.


Granted! You are a fish you are even transported to a lake so you can breathe. But an industrial chemical company dumps its waste in that lake.

--

I wish I had a black belt in karate.
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Waits
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Postby Waits » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:51 pm

SectsDryve wrote:I wish I had a black belt in karate.


Granted...but your new found sense of ass kickery makes you mouth off a lot...until someone shoots you.



----

I wish my headache were really gone.

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Pax
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Postby Pax » Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:00 pm

Waits wrote:I wish my headache were really gone.


Granted! And boy was that guillotine cool!

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I wish final exams never existed.
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Postby SectsDryve » Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:12 pm

Pax wrote:I wish final exams never existed.


Granted! But without final exams to show how much you learned during the year, the teachers accept cold hard cash. And an A is gonna cost you.

---

I wish Waits would keep his head.
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Postby Lightfeather » Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:24 pm

Granted! Waits has his head returned to him and they even put cute little pink bandaids to cover the booboo line. However, now he has his headache back.

I wish I had a pair of soft fingerless gloves so my hands didn't freeze when I type on the computer.
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Postby Pax » Fri Dec 07, 2007 1:05 am

Lightfeather wrote:I wish I had a pair of soft fingerless gloves so my hands didn't freeze when I type on the computer.


Granted! But Damon keeps stealing them to please himself! :O

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I wish someone else would take care of all my wedding planning for me.
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Postby Lightfeather » Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:44 am

Granted! You have now hired a wedding planner to take care of all your wedding arrangements. She's annoying, rude and thinks she knows "what's best for you young ladyâ€￾ so there's no arguing with her. Unfortunately you signed a contract with the old biddy and to break it would cost more than you were going to pay for the entire wedding! Now you're stuck with music you hate, food you're allergic to, decorations that you would rather see at a three year olds birthday party and you have to apologize to your bride's maids multiple times for the dresses they are threatening to leave your wedding party over. Talk about wedding plannerzillas... you sure picked a doozie!

After the wedding is over and the photos and video are back from processing, you now have memories of the worst day of your life, except for the whole marrying the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. That part was awesome. You promptly put the photos and video disk into a shoebox and never look at them again.

You wish you had just eloped and saved your money.

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I wish this universal remote I just bought would actually work with my TV I've had since 2003. DAMNIT WHY WON'T YOU WORK!!! /sob
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Postby Kiawah » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:14 am

Granted! A mysterious TV repairman who resembles Don Knotts shows up at your door, knowing that your remote is broken and gives you this new mysterious remote. You sit back down to watch TV and accidently put MTV on and they're showing Jackass. Unfortunately, you are sucked into the show, and are then forced to perform such stunts like dressing up like a Oompa Loompa and skate boarding down a crowded street until you go insane.

I wish I had a million dollars.
Last edited by Kiawah on Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Waits » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:27 am

Kiawah wrote:I wish I had a million dollars.



Granted. You're a million dollars richer...which is great for me, as you can now pay me back the million you owe me. I'm rich and you are free of debt.

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I wish I was not sick...again.

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Postby Marcallo » Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:50 pm

Granted: You recieve a knock at the door, upon answering it a man in a labcoat hands you a nasal spray that will completely make your cold go away. You spray it, you feel fantastic. Days later the non-FDA approved product causes you to sprout enormous nosehairs. You trim them, but they grow back faster and faster. Your nose beard causes all those who love you to shun you, you are last heard screaming "I'm a man not an animal".


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I wish someone would put out a GOOD fishing game for the Wii instead of all the crappy ones it has.
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...

...and I'll look down, and whisper "no."

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Postby SectsDryve » Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:29 pm

Marcallo wrote:I wish someone would put out a GOOD fishing game for the Wii instead of all the crappy ones it has.


Granted! You win a contest, Nintendo sends you their newest fishing game, the mechanics are very well done. You can play for hours and feel enthralled and challenged, fishing game aside - this is the best game for Wii you own. But the Fishing game is Hello Kitty. The game is very pink and very emasculating. Munki is always over to play it.

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I wish I had those Subway lifetime sandwich cards, like the one I saw in Happy Gilmore.
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Postby Kiawah » Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:17 pm

Granted! However, eating so much Subway makes you lose a ton of weight. Jared sees this, and fearing you're going to take over his thrown, puts out a contract on your head.



I wish the Pats would lose a game.

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Postby Atomic » Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:31 pm

The Pats are defeated by the Texans.

I wish people with microphones were a little more responsible with them.
"When the fuck did we get ice cream?"

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Postby Kiawah » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:46 am

Granted! The President creates a new government watch-dog agency to police this growing problem; however, with the growing power America becomes a totalitarian state. In the President's address to the nation, he mispronounces totalitarian as tomali state, and the US abandons all hope for industrialization and focuses on the production of tamales, weakening national security. When the Aliens invade on July 4th of 2025, we don't stand a chance.

I wish there was an In-N-Out on the East Coast.

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Postby skuppy » Tue Dec 18, 2007 12:55 pm

Granted. Every state east of Arizona falls into the ocean making Arizona the new east coast. Tool fans everywhere wander about in confusion.

I wish it was Christmas vacation time already.
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Postby Screwtape » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:33 pm

Granted, however to do this the world pushed christmas back a week. You angered someone for pushing Christmas back Image Robot Santa is coming for you.

I wish I was filthy rich.
I will enthrall you with my Puerto Rican voodoo love charms.

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Postby Lightfeather » Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:03 pm

Granted! You are now filthy rich but lose all your money because you invested in TV's. Now you are just filthy.

I wish I didn't have to pay for anything.
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Postby SectsDryve » Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:32 pm

Lightfeather wrote:I wish I didn't have to pay for anything.


Granted! You are now a professional sneak thief and burgler - wanted in ten states and number three on the FBI list of most wanted criminals.

--

I wish there was no racism - that people celebrate their differences.
Elune:

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Postby Lightfeather » Tue Jan 01, 2008 2:23 am

Granted! Now everyone celebrates the difference in others and degrade those that are alike or follow any social or cultural trends. Twins are shunned and have been forced into hiding. Elaborate beatification methods are unleashed on the world to alter skin tones so that no two people have the exact same shade or pattern of skin and anyone who doesn't subscribe to the belief that differences are right and similarities and "cliquesâ€￾ of culture are wrong are persecuted and finally driven away. Soon there will be no place left to run as cultural diversity groups do not have tolerance for people who believe in the same thing.

The world now has millions upon millions of religions and all of them say the others are wrong so there is no longer a safe haven for anyone. Your neighbor wants to kill you for your religious beliefs and may your own personal god help you if your skin tone is too close to someone else's. That's also a lynchable offence.

I wish I could eat and drink whatever I wanted and not go over my target weight limit.
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Postby nedru » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:01 am

Granted .... Now your body is working over time to release the excess food that comes pouring in. Your water bills go through the roof and the director of the sewage disposal system pays you a personal visit from the overtaxation of the public sewer system. The toilet begins to poop out and stopages create raunchy odors through out the neighborhood.

Your hiney begins to hurt meaning no Munki sex for you :razz: :razz: :razz:

I wish the Virginia Cavaliers had not fallen apart at the end of the Gator Bowl :sad:

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Postby skuppy » Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:27 pm

I wish I could get this song out of my head, it's been stuck for FOUR days! MAKE IT STOP!

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2Jn70MnJvMA&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2Jn70MnJvMA&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Stupid wedding dance video thread... :cry:
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Postby Atomic » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:25 am

You can get this one stuck in your head.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rN2VqFPNS8w&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rN2VqFPNS8w&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

I wish I could shoot fireballs.
"When the fuck did we get ice cream?"


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